So, you want a suburban adventure? You want to talk about excitement, thrills, and the wild world of the unknown? You want to expect the unexpected and walk straight into the Twilight Zone? Well, I’ve got your adventure right here:
I just found out I’m pregnant.
Don’t bother asking if this came as a surprise. It did. It came as a big, humongous, almost-peed-myself surprise. Only I couldn’t have peed myself, really, because there wasn’t anything left with which to do so. I’d already spent it all whizzing on that little stick.
And first of all, let’s talk about that stick. It claims to be an accurate and simple test: just wet the stick, and the magic wand will display two lines if you’re pregnant, and one line if you’re not. Sure, that sounds easy. So when I skipped my period this month, I bought the necessary box and did the obligatory pee-and-wait bit, thinking, “Well, whatever happens, at least I’ll know for sure.”
I waited the three minutes, holding my breath the entire time. Then I breathed out until my face was the right color again, and plucked up the courage to look. There was one line. One clear, dark, pink line. And beside that one, there was…half a line? I squinted at the little display window, thinking that there must have been some mistake. I rubbed my eyes and stared at it in total dismay, scratching my head and wondering what had gone wrong with the Universe. Then I gave up wondering and called for my husband.
“Um…honey? How many lines do you see?”
So, three pee-stick-tests later, we finally got a clear result. I am definitely pregnant.
I immediately called the doctor, thinking I would need to go in for a confirmation test of some kind, like they seem to do on TV. The receptionist at the doctor’s office politely asked me what in the world I was talking about, and informed me that all they would do was a test very similar to the pee-stick, and that it would give the exact same result. She said that I needed to set up a pre-natal with my OB and make sure I was eating a healthy diet, and then simply added, “congratulations.”
Well then. Let the adventure begin. The name-choosing, the morning sickness, the shocking of friends and family with the unexpected news, the moments of excitement and of panic, and especially, wondering whether it will be a girl or a boy.
I’ll be taking wagers on that soon.